Ring, ring, ring’, hello who this? “Are you coming to get me,” “Yes baby I have to go to the house first an then I am on my way.” As I crank up my new pearl white expedition and glance at my rimes. Yeah time to hit the store and get me a soda a pour up this “drank”. “You leaving Lil’B,” somebody yells from the shadow. Yeah I holla at y’all tomorrow man i’m leaning, ya feel me. “Aight be safe boy,” comes the same voice from the shadow. As I cut on my truck an crank up my stereo…as I drive off yelling, “dipset, dipset, dipset” going about 50mph around the corner. I pull up to the store and get a cream soda and two swishers with a look of confidence that only a true king would have. As I break down the swisher and pour up the cream soda I hear, “whoop, whoop”. Must be the laws coming or maybe just close by. I keep on like i’m not worried about nothing. Now its time to roll I light my blunt and take a sip of my cup to make sure I put just enough lean in there and i’m out. I get myself for this long ride home.
I get on the highway system-blasting sunroof open as if I don’t have a worry in the world. I finally make it to the house an like routine I drive cautiously around the complex an then sit in the car a good five minutes before I go in. As I get ready to get out the car I remember I don’t have my pistol. I think to myself if something is in here I can’t do anything any way as I laugh out loud and walk in the house.
It was a typical Tuesday night oh so I thought. I remember it like it was yesterday, “ Man let me hurry up an get to this house before baby starts calling me.” So here I go in the house to tell mother I am fixing to leave for the night. “Mama I am leaving,” I said in a subtle voice. As she walks from her bedroom in a nonchalant manner with the look only a mother can give a son. “So you gone for the night”. “ Yes mama that’s what it looks like”. At this time night really knowing what the night has waiting for I proceed in the back bedroom. I turn over a loosely covered bed and cautiously grab my 9mm pistol. Thinking I am out of my mothers’ sight I proceed to place the gun in my pocket. A then out the corner of my eye I see my mother. An with the same look as before my mother as before with a little more disappointment in her eyes she says, “If you are living a life style were you have to carry that thing. Then maybe you need to change you way of living.” I look at her with a grin of almost the resemblance of my late farther an reply, “mama its ok chill-out”. And with out hesitation I proceed to the front door on my way to my destination “home” that is. When she says in a disappointing voice “Brandon Lamont Boone something has to change.” Right then I knew I had to do something to ease her mind for the night. So I proceed back in the bedroom and place the handgun back under the bed. “There are you happy”, as I walk out of the house.
What’s Life In Amerikkka? Decision you are faced with and the choices some good some bad. But ultimately these choices dictate how your life may. Things like working or hustling can make a big difference in how your life is lived. Either you live a normal life, or a street life.When you live a normal life you get up and go to work every morning or whatever time you’re scheduled to be there. But when you live a street life you don’t have a schedule; you get up and go out do and what you have to do when you want. You don’t deal with colleagues when you live a street. But depending on your line of work you both deal with customers. So you do need people skills in both walks of life. In a normal life you most likely have a supervisor to report to verses street life were you are your own boss. Living a street life has its perks financially verses a normal life. You have no set pay, salary, or hourly wages as you would in normal life. So the managing money to pay bills is somewhat nonexistent. But on the other hand you really don’t have a guaranteed check every week or two weeks depending on your job. You could go out and work every day and when you calculate time multiplied by amount of money made. It would more than likely come out to minimum wage which is not a big difference depending on your line of work. But one thing about street life is if you go out and spend a thousand dollars on something. You have the ability to get up the next morning and make that thousand dollars right back verses waiting on your next check. It’s almost like having right now money instead of paycheck to pay check living.But there are some things in a normal life that you can’t get with living a street life. The most important is stability and security. When you live a normal life you don’t have to worry about people taking things from you. You really don’t have to worry about people telling on you. When in street life these entire things play a big part in your everyday living. You don’t have the leisure to trust people so you always have to be on guard. Whether its police or potential robbers, so having a productive relationship is hard because of the lack of trust. In street life you don’t worry about being fired you worry about going to jail. And when that happens it’s not like losing your job were you go out and find another one. You usually end up losing everything you’re worked for. One of the most important things that you can’t get from living a street life is comfort. You can’t go home the same way you may have went the day before. You can’t go home and just kick back and enjoy a night alone. You will always be on alert in fear of what if.So in life you are faced with choices and the choices you make can determine a lot of things. But when it all is said and done and you are trying to decide on what type of life you would like to live. Ask yourself would I rather live worry free and work hard for everything I obtain. Or would I rather live free and always on guard not really enjoying what life has put in front of me. So in the end it would seem living a normal life would be the smart and best choice to make.
Keep it Real! What is keeping it real mean? The word real has so many levels of interpretation and definitions. The definition of the word real: existing as or in fact; actual; true. But in the street life it means so much more, but still the same. You would never think that a four letter word could mean so much in a under world of street life.I ran into a friend I haven’t seen in awhile and asked him how he was doing and with no hesitation he answered, “I’m aight just doing me keeping it real”. Instantly I knew what he was saying. Some would ask what does he mean and why would he say that. The way I see it is he means he’s just doing him. When you see some one being them self and not portraying an image they’re keeping it real. On the block you see to kids playing the dozens and one of the kids said, “I’m hard body in real I’ll never tell on another man”. Is that keeping it real in the eyes of the beholder I guess? But when does keeping it real turn into not being truthful to oneself?You take a person from the hood and asked him would he tell the truth if he witnessed a crime, and he would probably say no I would keep it real. How is that keeping it real when real means actual or truth? That may not be real in a since of telling what the truth is, but in the ethics of the street code that’s keeping it real. So many lives have been lost and so many crimes unsolved because people “keep it real,” but how is that helping us? How does that help us progress? I’ve been a victim of keeping it real when telling the truth seems to make me seem fake. Who draws the line when keeping it real goes to far?There’s a man on death row and for a crime he clearly didn’t commit and when asked why he wouldn’t tell the truth and let himself go free ha said, “tell on another man forget that I’m real.” Now why is being real so important in a world where so many people and things are not? Because some times being real is all you have. When you know nothing but of what’s in front of you then keeping it real, and being real is all you have and all you want to hold on to. Not everybody can keep it real. It’s hard standing for what’s wrong for a reason you think is right. In the end is it worth it who knows. Somewhere there is a mother, sister, and farther morning because someone is keeping it real. I often wonder if the reason behind this “keeping it real” is because people don’t really know what real is. If they did would they still act the same? It’s a hard and cold truth but I don’t know. If could go back and change some of the choices I made would I change it? Who knows but “keeping it real” and real are truly two different things. So next time someone says I’m real, or keep it real ask them, “How real?”
Being a “Black father” is the best thing that I could have ever done in my life. As I sit back and think of the role models that I had in life and people I looked up to few were “fathers”. I remember my grandfathers teaching morals teaching me values. My grandfather favorite line was “you don’t get praise for doing what you’re suppose to do”. An I found that just being a father I would receive so much praise for people that knew me,didn’t know me or just wanted to say keep up the good work. I never claim to be the best dad in the world. But to my boys I am. To my boys I was someone who would never leave them. Never lie to them. Never disappoint them. But then it’s the other side. When two parents can’t get along and one uses them as pawns in a game that either one of them isn’t set up to win. When a system takes control of the interaction a parent has with his or her child it takes so much away. My son was suspended for fighting bans I wasn’t able to call him to console him to check on him to discipline him or anything. An to think I would pick them up everyday and ask how was you day. My youngest son is 4 years old I would keep him everyday and with the blink of a eye because of someone else hate I’m put in a positions where my rights are less than the other parents. By taking me out of the picture only hightens the probability my boys would grow with the same hate and anger at my father who walked away I had grown accustomed to taking out on people. So being a “Black Father” in Amerikkka is more than just having a baby. It’s ensuring that I don’t contribute to the so many lost,angry,hurt,misunderstood forsaken generations before me!
Brandon Jayden Caleb daddy miss you and it won’t be long. “No mistakes no excuses!”
Being black in a land full of and ran by white faces. What does it truly mean to be black in “Amerikkka”? Depending on social class and upbringings can play a big part in how you feel about what we call the “Free World”. First you have to know that this country was built on the pain and suffering of the less fortunate, and taken from its true settlers. So when you see the things that go on with invasion of other countries. The desire to explore and conquer are natural human instincts that “Amerikkka” has perfected through power,control,deception and lies. This pass election with how the “electoral voting system” is set up how can it be a president for the people? How can it matter who you vote for when the majority vote doesn’t matter? See when you are use being told and taught something and then shown another. It contradicts and puts in question those same things that you’ve been told to believe. When all you see is poverty stricken neighborhoods and abandoned buildings. With blocks and blocks of empty run down houses and then turn around and say you to can have the “Amerikkkan Dream.” You tend to wonder what that dream truly was or is and was it intended for you. When Flint Michigan still has brown lead infested water and comprised the safety and health of the less fortunate. History shows that this is not new for “Amerikkka” actually these type of things are the pillars that this country was built on. The same hate and control the prohibited people of color to not be able to vote,shop,live etc…is masked with policies law makers. “Amerikkka”has always been what it will always be a place that can never repay its debt for what it has done to countless generations after generations of it’s unforgettable,unforgivable oppression of the people who this land was built on and by. Being “Black In Amerikkka” is like looking someone who doesn’t like you doesn’t want you around but ain’t shit they can do about it!